The Diversion
Act I
[Escena 1]
[Scene 1]
Enter Ocaña, a footman, with an apron and sieve, and Cristina, a kitchen maid
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        Mistress Cristina, let us aim…
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        Aim at what, master Ocaña?
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        …at being nice, not unsociable,
                        nor quite so hostile.
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        Did your lordship wish me5
                                       
                        to always walk the straight and narrow?
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        Anyone who did might be tempted to stray.
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        Sadness is always so morbid
                        and fancy words befit a happy life:
                        sayings, stories, jokes, the gift of ideas—10
                                       
                        fine in theory and even better in practice.
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        I know who you are playing the fool with,
                        Cristina, and it’s not me.
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        Do you know what I have to say to you, Ocaña?
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        Something kind I hope?15
                                       
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        I say you shouldn’t twist things so spitefully!
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        In truth I’m only scratching the surface
                        with these stories.
                        If I were to get to the heart of the matter,
                        then I’d have some tales to tell!20
                                       
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        Yes lots…but malicious ones!
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        When my tongue gives voice to my heart
                        a thousand escape me.
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        I'm not going to listen any more…
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        Come back, Cristina!25
                                       
                        Where are you going?
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        It’s a waste of time listening to you—
                        your meanness and your way of talking
                        get on my nerves.
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        A dying man nearly always tells the truth.30
                                       
                        I am dying and I confess you love Quiñones.
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        Now I see how wicked your intentions are.
                        Now I see what's afoot…
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        Go on, say it in full,
                        although the ‘man’ is not required.35
                                       
                        I know I’m a footman—
                        no need to beat around the bush.
                        You disguise your vengeance badly
                        by not maintaining the decorum expected
                        of one of the most beautiful kitchenmaids40
                                       
                        I have ever seen,
                        standing between Quinoñes and myself,
                        one moment a lamb and the next a lioness.
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        All the same, Cristina,
                        you should be…
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        What?
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        …discreet.
                        You are very sought after,55
                                       
                        and highly visible,
                        and a flower will be touched
                        if it is there to be touched.
                        Flowers in the country
                        are subject to whatever hand,60
                                       
                        base villain or noble gallant;
                        and subject to the plough,
                        and to the heavy foot
                        of the farmer who guides it.
                        But a flower that is cultivated65
                                       
                        behind the high wall of modesty
                        is not damaged by the murmuring North wind,
                        nor withered by the ardour
                        of he who would touch it.
                        A woman must be good and, moreover,70
                                       
                        be seen to be good.
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        You are a great preacher,
                        but your doctrine disguises
                        your lustful intentions.
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        I swear my thoughts are aimed at marriage.75
                                       
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        You’re very bold!
                        Give it here, the oats have arrived.
                                    
He gives her the sieve.
Exit Cristina
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        Take the sieve, you who have taken
                        as much offence from me as I from you.
                        Oh pages! You’re like hawks,80
                                       
                        preying on tame, domesticated doves.
                        You police their wages and
                        ferret around their nests,
                        taking half the profits
                        of their pilfering.85
                                       
                        You enjoy the plunder:
                        the close-fitting boots,
                        the shiny slippers,
                        the fancy collars and cuffs
                        and gilded clogs.90
                                       
                        With your slippery manner
                        you practise a deceit,
                        bartered with those silver heels
                        that noble ladies step on.
                        Cristina is back so soon95
                                       
                        with the oats and Quiñones.
                        My heart sinks, and my blood boils
                        to see these two together,
                        so cosy and so lovey-dovey.
                                    
Enter Cristina, with the oats, and Quiñones the page
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                                       [aside to Quiñones]
                            Don’t look at him or talk to him,100
                                       
                        but if you do, don’t show the hand of jealousy,
                         for he will trump you a thousand times.
                                    
                                       
                                          Quiñones 
                                       
                        Though I’m just a lad, I have never been timid.
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        Look out, he’s here.
                                       [To Ocaña] Here are
                            your oats, Don Juan.105
                                       
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        Well-measured?
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        Did my gallant master measure them?
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        The only one who measured them was the devil,
                        roused by your wicked tongue!110
                                       
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        I’m going to my stable,
                        so as not to have to watch the puppet show
                        of these two inseparable characters.
                                    
                                       
                                          Quiñones 
                                       
                        You’re so full of malice
                        that you see it everywhere,115
                                       
                        but I know you’re deceiving yourself.
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        And I know you would both do well to hold your tongues.
                                    
                                       
                                          Quiñones 
                                       
                        And I know we shouldn’t,
                        because whoever keeps quiet
                        concedes the ill that’s spoken of them.120
                                       
                                    
                                       
                                          Ocaña 
                                       
                        I neither said nor did
                        anything bad to you…
                                    
                                       
                                          Quiñones 
                                       
                        Nor is your place to!
                                    
Exit Ocaña
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        And you didn’t have the courage
                        to respond to him!
                        I must go back to work
                        and return to my own affairs.
                                    
                                       
                                          Quiñones 
                                       
                        What should I have replied?135
                                       
                        Do I wear a sword? No!
                        And what’s more, it’s to my discredit
                        if I fight with…
                                    
                                       
                                          Cristina 
                                       
                        Quiñones, please!
                        Ocaña is an honourable man,140
                                       
                        and excellent with a sword besides.